


Ex-Wives!

by Jayfur08



Series: Family Of Six [5]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: But mostly they just, Dancing, Dancing and Singing, F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mild Angst, Mostly Fluff, SO, Singing, Songfic, Songs, They talk about that whole Henry situation, have fun, i guess, ish, mild mild angst, not too in depth, uh, very mild, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28807935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayfur08/pseuds/Jayfur08
Summary: They practice their first song, Ex-Wives!
Relationships: Anne Boleyn/Catherine of Aragon, Anne of Cleves/Jane Seymour, Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Series: Family Of Six [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065728
Comments: 13
Kudos: 27





	Ex-Wives!

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Read the tags, they discuss the H*nry situation, so rape, kidnapping, violence, etc. Not too in detail but they do so

The six Queens, along with the others on music, were inside their living room, with all the furniture pushed to the side, staring down at the script.

Kitty smiled and stepped away from the camera, ”The video is set up!”

“Let's go!” Anne looked down at the script, ”I'm like 90% sure I have this memorized and don't even need the script!”

“What's the third line?” Cathy shot her a smirk.

Anne blank-faced before shooting back her own smirk, ”Died?”

“Shit, I didn't think that one through-”

Catherine sighed, ”Please, guys, try to remain... Any level of professional?”

“Can't guarantee it!” Anne grinned, ”We got the music ready?”

Jane nodded, ”Start on three?”

“1...”

“2...”

“3!”

“Divorced,” Catherine began.

“Beheaded!” Anne was bouncing in place. She blinked and looked down as Anna and Cathy shot her a look.

“Died,” Jane looked down.

“Divorced,” Anna grinned.

“Beheaded,” Kat shot Anne a small smile.

“Survived,” Cathy looked up.

“And tonight,” Catherine took a step forward and held out her arm, ”We are...”

“Live!” They all sang.

“Listen up, let me tell you a story!” Catherine looked at Anne.

“A story that you think you’ve heard before,” Anne winked and glanced at the script in her hand.

“We know you know our names and our fame and our faces,” Jane gave a small smile.

“Know all about the glories and the disgrace,” Anna crossed her arm and rolled her eyes.

“I’m done ‘cause all this time,   
I’ve been just one word in a stupid rhyme!” Kat, and the others, were still kinda pissed about that one. Is that all that everyone knew.

“So I picked up a pen and a microphone,” Cathy looked at the others.

“History is about to be overthrown!” They sang, holding out their arms and grinning.

“Divorced,” Catherine looked down.

“Beheaded,” Anne drew a finger over her neck and stuck her tongue out.

“Died,” Jane sighed.

“Divorced,” Anna huffed.

“Beheaded,” Kat tried not to let her excitement leak into the more depressing notion of being beheaded.

“Survived!” Cathy smiled.

“But just for you tonight,” They all looked at each other.

“We’re divorced, beheaded, live!”

“Welcome to the show, to the historemix!” Catherine and Anne grinned at each other.

“Switching up the flow as we add the prefix,” Anna and Jane looked at each other.

“Everybody knows that we used to be six wives!” They all held out their arms.

“Raising up the roof, till we hit the ceiling!” Cathy and Kat looked at each other before glancing at the script.

“Get ready for the truth that we’ll be revealing!” They all looked at each other, ”Everybody knows that we used to be six wives… “

“But now we’re Ex-wives!” They all sang again, proudly.

“Everybody, make some noise!” Catherine briefly wondered what it would be like to have an actual audience making news.

“All you ever hear and read about,” Catherine continued.

“Is our ex and the way it ended,” Anne's grin faltered for a second, a bitter taste in her mouth as she remembered how it ended.

“But a pair doesn’t beat a royal flush,” Jane gave Anne a soft smile.

“You’re gonna find out how he got unfriended!” Anna grinned.

“Tonight, we’re gonna do ourselves justice,” Kitty pointed forward and smiled, “‘Cause we’re taking you to court!”

“Every Tudor Rose has its thorns,” Cathy smiled and looked at the others, ”And you’re gonna hear ‘em live: in consort!”

“Divorced,” Catherine repeated.

“Beheaded,” Anne was struggling a little more with the cheery attitude now, but the song would cheer up again, soon.

“Died,” Jane would be lying if she said that she wasn't getting slightly upset, as well.

“Divorced,” Anna grinned and looked at the others.

“Beheaded,” Kat stifled a sigh.

“Survived,” Cathy looked up.

“But just for you, tonight,” They all cheered up at this one, ”We're divorced, beheaded, live!”

“Welcome to the show, to the historemix!” Catherine looked up.

“Switching up the flow as we add the prefix!” Anne was cheering up and bouncing again.

“Everybody knows that we used to be six wives,” Jane sang, along with the others, giving a soft smile. This was more fun.

“Dancing to the beat till the break of day, once,” Anna grinned and looked at the others.

“We’re done, we’ll start again,” Kat smiled and looked at Cathy.

“Like it’s the Renaissance,” Cathy nodded.

“Everybody knows that we used to be six wives…” They all looked at each other, into the song now, ”But now we’re Ex-wives!”

“Remember us from your GCSEs?” Catherine looked at the camera.

“Divorced.” The others sang behind her.

“My name’s Catherine of Aragon,  
Was married twenty-four years,” She muttered, before grinning at the next time, ”I’m a paragon of royalty!”

“My loyalty is to the Vatican,” She continued, ”So if you try to dump me  
You won’t try that again.”

“Beheaded,” They all stepped back as Anne stepped forward.

“I’m that Boleyn girl, and I’m up next,” She forced a more peppy attitude, ”See, I broke England from the church. Yeah, I’m that sexy!” She had to admit she giggled at that line.

“Why did I lose my head?” She drew a quick line over her neck, ”Well, my sleeves may be green, but my lipstick’s red.” She never cheated, but this narrative worked so much better, didn't it?

“Died,” It was Jane's turn now.

“Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved,” Jane sang, sweetly.

“Rude,” The other mumbled.

“When my son was newly born, I died,” Jane looked down, sorrowfully, “But I’m not what I seem. Or am I?”

“Stick around and you’ll suddenly see more,” She smiled.

Kitty gave a soft gasp, ”I get it now!”

Anne tilted her head and the other gave her a look. She winced, ”Sorry, yeah, anyway-”

“Divorced,” Anna stepped up.

“Ich bin Anna of Cleves!” She grinned.

“Ja,” The others smirked.

“When he saw my portrait, he was like-”

“Ja!”

“But I didn’t look as good as I did in my pic,” Anna rolled her eyes, “Funny how we all discuss that,” She smirked, ”And never Henry’s little-”

“Prick up your ears,” Kat interrupted, giggling at the faux glare from Anna, ”I’m the Katherine who lost her head!”

“Beheaded,” The others sang.

“For my promiscuity outside of wed,” Kat looked up, ”Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons!”

“Wives and daughters,” Anne smirked and the others either laughed or fought a smile.

She winked at the camera, ”K. Howard is here and the fun’s begun.”  
  
“Survived,” Cathy's up now.

“Five down, I’m the final wife,” Cathy sighed, ”I saw him to the end of his life. I’m the survivor, Catherine Parr.”

“I bet you wanna know how we got this far,” She grinned and looked at the camera, “I said, I bet you wanna know we got this far!”

“Do you wanna know how we got this far?” They all stepped forward, now, ”Then, welcome to the show, to the historemix!”

“Switching up the flow as we add the prefix,” They all grinned, “Everybody knows that we used to be six wives!”

“Turn the beat up, get this party buzzing!” Anne put her arms up, Kat and Anna following, ”You want a queen bee, well, there’s half a dozen!”

“Everybody knows that we used to be six wives,” Catherine, Jane, and Cathy smiled a little, ”But now we’re-”

“Ex-wives!” They all looked at each other, ”One, two, three, four, five, six!”

“How is everyone doing tonight?!” Anna asked the imaginary audience.

“We said, how are you doing tonight?!” Anne hoped they would one day have a real audience.

“We are,” Jane smiled.

“Six!” They all sang, before Jane continued alone.

“And welcome to our divorced, beheaded, live tour!”

“We’ve got a whole lot in store for you tonight,” Kat smiled.

We’ve got riffs to ruffle your ruffs!” Catherine smiled before proceeding to riff.

“Shimmys to shake up your Chemise,” Cathy laughed a little.

“And a whole lot of history!” Kat grinned.

“Or as we like to call it…” Cathy joked “her-story.”

They all laughed before continuing.

“So obviously, you know who we are!” Catherine looked at the camera.

“Please, no portraits,” Kat smirked.

“But give it up for our ladies in waiting!” Catherine gestured to the others, who smiled.

“We got Maggie on the guitar!” Anne grinned and Maggie did a solo.

“Bessie on the bass!” Anna smiled and Bessie did a solo.

“And killing it on the keys,” Jane gestured to Joan, who did a solo after Jane finished, ”We've got Joan!”

“And with drums so sick they’ll give you gout,” Catherine smiled, ”It’s Maria in the drums!”

“So you came here tonight to party with us old-school,” Anna smirked.

“Really, really old-school…” Jane sighed, ”But we’re not here to have fun!”

“Uh-uh,” Kat shook her head, ”We’ve got a serious score to settle!”

“We’ve been in the shadow of one man for too long!” Cathy huffed.

“And we came here tonight to step back into the spotlight!” Anne grinned.

“The problem is there’s-” Kat began, the other five joining in before Kat finished alone.

“Six!”

“-of us, and we know you’ve all got your favorite.”

“Everyone always wants to know who’s the most important wife,” Catherine waved her hand.

“And they’ve been arguing about it for centuries...” Anna muttered.

“We’ve heard it all…” Cathy sighed.

“Who lasted the longest was the strongest,” Catherine smirked.

“The biggest sinner is obvs the winner!” Anne grinned, 

Jane gave a sad smile, ”Who had the son takes number one.”

“Who was most chased shall be first placed!” Anna glanced at Jane.

“Most inglourious is victorious,” Kat looked at the camera.

“The winning contestant was the most protest-ant!” Cathy grinned, before pausing.

The others gave her a weird look.

“...Protestant!”

“We're adding that to the script!” Anne laughed.

“Shut up!” Cathy glared at her.

Catherine sighed, ”But we came here tonight to answer your questions once and for all!”

“And tell ya whatcha want, whatcha really really want!” Anne grinned, before adding, ”...to know.

“That’s right,” Jane looked at them, ”We’re gonna help you figure out which one of us is-”

“The queen of the castle!” Anna looked at them.

“The rose amongst the thorns,” Jane smiled.

“The Thomas Cromwell amongst the royal ministers between 1532 and 1540!” Kat grinned.

“But how the purgatory are they going to choose their leading lady?” Catherine asked, looking at them.

“Hold up!” Anne held up her hands, ”If this is going to be a fair competition, they’re gonna have to judge us on the one thing we’ve all got in common.”

“The one to take the crown should be the one who had the biggest,” Jane looked at them.

“The firmest,” Cathy smirked.

“The fullest,” Catherine winked.

“Load of B.S. to deal with from the man who put a ring on it!” Anna huffed.

“So, everyone, we’re going to hold a little contest for you!” Kat grinned.

“And the rules are simple,” Anne nodded.

“The queen who was dealt the worst hand,” Cathy nodded.

“The queen with the most hardships to withstand,” Jane smiled.

“The queen who everything didn’t really go as planned.” Anna sighed.

“Shall be the one to lead the band!” They all said.

“So, what do you think, are you ready to choose your leading lady?” Catherine looked at them.

“We said, are you ready?!” Kat repeated.

“Welcome to the show, to the coronation!” They all looked at each other, ”Who will take the crown, be the pop sensation?”

“Everybody knows that we used to be six wives!”

“Six wives,” They sang, stepping forward, ”Six wives.”

“Six wives!” They finished and sighed.

“Whoo!” Maggie grinned.

“That was so good!” Anne looked around, ”I can't wait for the rest of the songs!”

“This is so exciting!” Bessie bounced.

“This was the first version of Ex-Wives in our upcoming musical!” Catherine looked at the camera, ”We've been working very hard on this and are very excited to share this with you guys!”

“Can't wait to see the final project!” Anna smiled.

Kat ran forward and turned the camera off.

They all looked at each other and realized the amount of anxiety that had for this.

“Am I the only one getting a little bummed by the lyrics?” Anne muttered, ”I mean, I know I'm the one who suggested we take the more simplified, well-known versions- me being a cheater and all, but holy shit.”

“I was just absolutely mortified of messing up,” Joan mumbled.

“Me,” Kat sat down on the couch, ”I mean, when I burst out that little, ‘I get it!’ on Jane's joke, I was very close to crying out of stress.”

“I thought that was adorable!” Cathy smiled.

“Our ex and the way it ended,” Anne mumbled, ”That's the line that got me the most.”

Catherine grabbed her hand, ”Yeah, there are some lines that... That get me but thinking about that?”

“Not only did he chop your head off, but he tried to do it again!” Kitty yelled, waving her arms, ”What an asshole!”

“That whole thing was shit,” Anna muttered, along with a couple of sentences in German no one else understood.

“I'm sorry,” Maria looked at them, ”What?”

The Queens stared at them before Jane mumbled, ”I forgot you guys didn't know about that...”

“Know about what?” Maggie stood up and looked at them.

“Henry came back,” Anne began, a small hint of humor in her voice for a second, ”Big surprise, right? Ended up finding Jane, Kitty, and me. I willingly went with him and, in exchange, he let Jane and Kit-Kat leave. Then, tried to chop my head off in front of them. Very traumatizing.”

“Much traumatic,” Kitty nodded, solemnly.

“What the fuck?” Bessie stood up, ”You guys never told us this!”

“How are we supposed to explain, ‘Oh, yeah! Did we ever mention the double murder and shittiness that Henry did? The whole kidnapping thing? The fucking murder and that GODDAMN hospital afterward? No? Well, let's talk about it!’ guys?!” Kat demanded.

“What happened at the hospital?!” Joan squeaked, eyes wide.

“This dude tried to suffocate me in my sleep,” Anne waved her hand, ”0/10, would not recommend. Ever.”

“Holy fuck!” Maggie frantically waved her arms, ”I didn't know about this!”

“It's not easy to bring up,” Anna pointed out, “Like, shit, I haven't gotten over any of those events.”

“You haven't?” Anne looked at her.

“No, bitch, have you?!” Anna looked back.

“Of, course not!” Anne huffed, ”I just thought I was the only one.”

“I don't think any of us have ever gotten over anything in our lives,” Kat gave a small laugh.

“I'm not over it!” Joan whimpered, ”The fuck, you guys?!”

“I'm trying to process over here, if y’all could shut up,” Maria mumbled, absent-mindedly.

“There's nothing to process!” Cathy rolled her eyes, ”It-It was barely a thing. Lasted like a couple days. We're cool! I'm cool!”

“Kidnapping isn't cool,” Bessie muttered, ”And what happened to Henry?!”

“I slit his throat with a broken bottle in a storage closet mid rape attempt while the others tried to get in,” Anne deadpanned, looking at them, ”It was not as cool as it sounds.”

“Rape?” Joan's eyes widened.

“Oh, that also happened,” Anne nodded, ”Not-Not a fan of that. But better just me than Kat and Jane.”

“Very arguable,” Kitty looked at her, ”I am not over that little self-sacrifice thing!”

“What?” Maria's eyes narrowed, ”I-I am getting a lot right now.”

“Okay, okay,” Anna took a deep breath, ”Anne left after a fight to clear her head. We went out to look for her, I went back to the house where Cathy and Catherine were waiting after Kat texted me that they found Anne.”

“We decided to cut through an alley because I'm a dumbass and insisted on it,” Anne muttered, ”When that bitch showed up.”

“Him,” Catherine mumble, ”Ugh.”

“That bitch had a few friends,” Kat nodded, ”Not sure what happened to them. But, Henry was threatening us and I kinda blacked out in panic. But I snapped back when I heard Anne mention a deal.”

Jane tapped the couch, ”Anne said... After Henry threatened Kat and mentioned some alone time, Anne yelled something about a deal.”

“Which was?” Joan prompted, gently.

“I told him I would do whatever he wanted if he left Jane and Kat and all the others alone,” Anne looked at them, ”He seemed hesitant, I knew he wasn't above just taking the three of us to rape. But, he eventually accepted. Beat the shit out of me before taking me to some abandoned factory.”

“Jesus Christ, Anne!” Maggie took a step forward, ”Why would you do that?!”

“Because I didn't want Jane and Kat to get hurt!” Anne argued, ”I don't regret it and I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

“Annie, please don't,” Kat looked at her, ”That-That was shitty. We could've dealt with it together.”

“No offense, but I'd rather one of us get hurt than all the others,” Anne shrugged, ”It was the only thing I could think of.”

“Okay, okay, okay!” Maria waved her hands, ”Anne is a selfless dumbass, but what about the second beheading?”

“This asshole calls us!” Cathy looked at them, ”Tells us where he is and to be there at a certain time. He also brags about raping Anne and being an asshole. And puts Anne on the phone!”

“These dumb fucks listened to him and came with basically no plan,” Anne muttered, ”Instead of just not! I had already planned to push up and hit his arm- Oh, yeah, the sword! So, he put me in a closet then took me out and there was a sword and makeshift scaffolding.”

“What the fuck,” Maggie blinked.

“So, when I heard them, I pushed up and hit Henry's arm. He dropped the sword, plan was going good. Then, they came. With no plan. And, like, three knives.” The other five just nodded along.

“You didn't call the cops?” Joan asked them.

“We forgot,” Catherine shrugged, ”A lot was going on.”

“We all got our asses beat, Jane got stabbed, Kat broke her leg, Cathy broke her arm, I had a concussion, Catherine had internal bleeding, Anne had a dislocated arm, the other arm was like sprained or some shit.” Anna nodded. 

“At some point, Henry shoves me into a closet and starts to sexual assault me, and also jams the door,” Anne was fiddling with the cham on her choker, ”I grabbed a bottle, broke it, and slit his throat. Then, we dipped, told the hospital we just got randomly jumped in an alley, and vibed.”

“Okay, what about the almost suffocating thing?” Bessie asked.

“At the hospital, this guy was throwing a fit over Anne and Catherine sharing a bed,” Jane explained, ”We managed to all get the same room being we all threw bigger fits, Kitty started crying, Cathy almost beat someone up.”

“Fun,” Maggie muttered.

“We ending having to split into three rooms,” Catherine continued, ”Jane and I, Kitty and Cathy, and Anne and Anna for most similar injuries.”

“Okay, where does the suffocation come in?” Joan asked.

“That asshole who was being a little bitch about us sharing a room and a bed came into the room in the middle of the night,” Anne huffed, ”And I woke up with a pillow in my face. Anna tackled him off and I had a panic attack. The rest is a blur.”

“I woke up to Anna screaming Jane's name,” Cathy nodded, ”We rushed in, Catherine calmed Anne down, we pulled him away, and gave our testimonies. We left the next day and never went back.”

“Are you guys okay?” Maria looked at them, ”Like, what the fuck? That was all in the span of, what, a week?”

“Yeah, sounds about right,” Anna nodded and the others mumbled in agreement.

“How long ago was that?” Bessie asked.

“A good six months,” Kat nodded, ”Not too much else has happened since, then.”

“You guys need, like, a bodyguard,” Maggie scoffed, ”At all times.”

“Every of the times!” Joan looked at them, ”That's a lot, on top of everything else that happened to you guys!”

“Well...” Cathy opened her mouth then looked down, ”Guess it is.”

“Not like anything else will happen,” Anna shrugged.

“Yeah, now we can heal or whatever!” Kat giggled.

The other Queens nodded along and the ladies sighed.

“Have you healed at all?” Maria asked.

“I can say no,” Kitty shrugged, ”A lot of times. Or... Sometimes.”

“I can get into arguments without having a panic attack unless they grab at my neck or something,” Anne tilted her head, ”Or do anything Henry-like.”

“Last week, I spilled something and only minorly had a panic attack!” Jane grinned, ”It was a big deal.”

“What about you three?” Bessie looked at the others, ”What do you got?”

“I only thought about how ugly I was twice last week?” Anna offered.

“I flapped my hands without getting nervous someone would get upset?” Cathy blinked.

“I'm only vaguely guilty about... Everything?” Catherine looked at them, ”Anything I've ever done?”

“See?” Anne gave a grin, ”We're doing a lot better!”

“I guess that's fair,” Joan shrugged, ”I mean, not much that can be done to change the past.”

“I guess one thing we can learn from this is...” Maggie looked at them before smirking, ”Fuck Henry.”

Everyone laughed for a bit before someone suggested a movie. They got snacks and blankets and settled on the couch.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Anne watched them all, laughing, grinning, happy.

_Happy..._

_“Not like anything else will happen,”_ Anna had said.

Anne looked at her hand as she felt a familiar burning, _itching, **pain**_ on her neck. She pushed her hand to her side and forced a smile, scooting closer to Catherine.

Nothing that they had to worry about, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Haha Anne is gonna suffer this is the last fluff for a while


End file.
